About Walking

"I love walking!" I said proudly one day to a friend. Fethi Paşa used to be a habit I would brag about, a safe haven where I could be myself, where the walls simple would dissapear at my presence. 

It's been more than 2 months since I last visited this place, since that day I lost the sense of flexing one of my legs properly. Or the sense of how to walk downhill without my heart racing, afraid of a three second slip which changes life's perspective, perhaps, forever.

 

I never realized just how deep my love was for this place and for this blessing that God gave me; the ability to walk without thinking. Perhaps I needed that break. Perhaps getting used to something is not exactly something to be proud of.

Because today, when I finally reached the same favorite spot again, it was as if a newly discovered treasure unfolded in front of my eyes. I loved everything about it, including the new struggle I had to endure to get there.  Every step was so valuable I would not trade it for the world.

Dear You (an excerpt from "An Untold Story")

"I had told you one day, in between our casual conversations about soulmates, that there will be a time in ourlives what we may call as a true 'euphoria'.  A moment that we will be delighted to share to our grandchildren in the future.  I told you that our meeting, amongst the gazillion stars and galaxies around us,definitely had striked a cord in me as one of those precious moments.  I had cherished every second we shared our thoughts, our very different yet similar lives.  

I had told you also, at another euphoric moment, that there would be people who we would bump into through out our journey who would reinvigorate our hearts like never before.  And that the most painful realization  with that unplanned felicity is the fact that they would not be the persons who we will spend the rest of our lives with.  I had told you about him, that day, where you replied, "Yes, things happen, we are indeed weak..."

Dearest, it just dawned on me today, after moons have seperated us, that you are one of them.  And I am not sure if this torture of not being able to simply say I miss you terribly, is a weakness from my part, or simply a decree to which I have to submit, willingly... or unwillingly.

(Where ever you may be, till this moment, I still pray for you.)"

Virtual Attachments

We are so weak that we have intentionally attached ourselves to social messaging apps.  We attach our very soul to it, that when the communication stops from one side, it can literally hurt us for days.  Is the human heart that weak that we depend so much on our interractions to others?  That we need to be noticed, to be appreciated, in order to feel happy and fulfilled?  

What a rough night, what a rough week, it has been.  

سأصبر...

سأصبر حتى يعجز الصبر عن صبري 
سأصبر حتى ينظر الرحمن في أمري
سأصبر حتى يعلم الصبر
أني صبرت على شئٍ أمرّ من الصبر

علي بن أبي طالب.

There is always a story...

...behind every face, behind every tear, behind every leaf which falls ever so gently on the soft autumn earth.  And with each breath, there is a story about to unfold.