illusions

As the rainbow unfolded the sky

I tossed images of you up high

By God, with them my heart wanted to fly

Yet all it did was sigh a silent cry

Aren't rainbows supposed to ease

The prickling pain deep in the crease?

Aren't rainbows supposed to be a sign

That the storm has just resigned?

Or is it only an illusion

Like your love for me

Amidst confusion?

Lost Love

Speak!
When the chest suddenly overflows
With unstoppable drumming,
Humming the longing

Speak!
When the visions blur
With wetness
With redness
Of sleeplessness

Speak!
When "don't" seems to be the only choice,
With a voice

Speak!
Like the caresses of the wind to the falling autumn leaves,
Like the kisses of the sun to the sparkles of the rocky seas,
Like the scents of the roses to the buzzing bees,
How they lure,
To cure

Tell her...

About her mind
How it burns your creases
Like the most beautiful supernovas

About her heart -
like none you have ever felt -
How it softens even the deadliest casanovas

About her gaze

 - like the starriest night -

How it silences your every thought and desire

About the wrinkles on her nose -  everytime she giggles - 

How it reminds you of thirst-quenching lemonade in the summer heat.

Tell her, 

She is your world, your moon, your sun,
your galaxies, your universe.
That she is the colours of your heart,
bleeding or otherwise.
The air which you breathe - summer, fall, winter or monsoons -
all the same.

Speak!
Before she flees without glee
And the words
"I yearn for you..."
Forever becomes you to the tee.

Speak,
So you can breathe,
to live.

Speak!

Writing is...

Let's start again, thought by thought, word by word. Then sentence by sentence. Feeling by feeling. Today, after more than 10 years I finally pulled the courage to start a blog again. No, it has not been because of laziness. It is worse, perhaps. It is fear of not knowing what to write. However cliche it may sound, I am scared that my posts will only spit nothing, nonsense, uselessness. The mistakes in my thoughts, if any, the grammar errors that I often unintentionally carry, all matter. But why? Because I am afraid to be seen vulnerable. Thus it will be when I intend to make this blog for people who will always judge. Yet, let's ask deeper, who am I writing this blog for?

Only one honest answer comes in mind: yours truly.

A simple girl woman, who wants to heal her heart. Who wants to clean her mind. Who wants to share to the world her 70 thoughts (to those who care to read all of her and her vulnerability). Who wants to change to be a better humanbeing, and maybe only then can she change the world. Thus let it be so! Let this writing be a haven for me, a haven that can also fit others in need. Let this writing be a healing.

And that is enough to start to write again. Bismilllah.